Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
