babies were throwing up all over the place
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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