Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Drunk is not a location!
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
