i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
