Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize