So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Fuck appropriateness.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
