It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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