Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
