that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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