I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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