My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Randomize
