I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
