i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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