this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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