need another drink. this is the easiest way
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
be right there i have to get my cape
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
