can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
