I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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