i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize