Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Drunk is not a location!
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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