writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
