omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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