he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
