bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
