i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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