She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
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