i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
im drinking this country out of the recession.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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