the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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