S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
