Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
