If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
