WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
