Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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