So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
