So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
