you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Jerry, you need to find god
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
