she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
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