Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
