It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
i think my cat just said my name.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
