I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
