she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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