when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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