I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
