apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
