The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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