I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
