Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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