I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
