You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Randomize
