Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
