I wanna bring you to show and tell
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
