I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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