i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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