..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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