your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
This girl is more easily done than said...
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize