she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
