Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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