well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
