How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Randomize
