and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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