i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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