Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
