There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
