So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
