4 words: hood of his car
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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