theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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