doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
