its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
