I want to make a zoo with you.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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