i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
