Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
