It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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