Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
