you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
