we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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